Getting Help

I'm starting this post out with a disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional and have never claimed to be such. I am only speaking from my own experience. I'm sure that some of you reading this think - Well I've had more experience with this than you, dumb blonde! And I'm sure you have, but this is MY blog, so I am going from MY experience. Or you may say - You are completely wrong about everything, you dumb blonde! Of course you can have your own opinion, I'm all for that, but if you comment disagreeing with me, just keep it clean. Also, I prefer "Nonsensical flaxen haired vixen" to dumb blonde. ;)

Woah! That was way intense. But now onto the actual post:

I have had many many people ask me, "When do you know if you need to get help?" I always respond with the same answer, "If you even think that you need help, you probably need help." But let's break that question down a little bit, because really - my answer is a little vague.

First of all 'help' has a very broad range. It can vary from talking to your friend, to seeing a psychiatrist, to going to the ER. If you call a medical clinic or hospital you will hear something like, "If this is a life threatening emergency please hang up and dial 9-1-1 or go to the ER." Same rule applies here. If you really feel like your life is a risk, get immediate help. Please.

Now that we have the scariest one crossed off of the list, let's move on. (phew!)

Because this is a heavy topic I'm going to add cute pictures of baby animals to keep it light.

The simplest, and often time hardest step, is to tell someone how you are feeling. Obviously it has to be somebody that you trust. It also needs to be somebody that will give you GOOD advise. (The homeless guy on the corner selling used water bottles may be a snappy dresser, but probably don't go to him for life advise) Go to somebody that has their own life in order and that you know will be confident with the information you share. 

Sometimes sharing your information with a trusted friend is enough for you. You just needed to get that information out of your head and then you can move on. 

But sometimes this isn't enough and it doesn't really help with how you are feeling/functioning in your life. And that's OKAY. But now is probably the time to talk to a professional. Now don't freak out if this is what you need to do. 15 million people seek out professional counseling every year and benefit from it. It doesn't mean you are crazy sauce. A lot of people get help and here are some of the main reasons people do - if you get overwhelmed with something in your life, after a loss, can't handle your stress or anxiety, overcoming addiction, gain mental clarity, family and relationship issues, depression, phobias, eating disorders, etc.

SALAD YUM!

Choosing a provider can be a little overwhelming. Where do you even start??? Here is where you even start- Do you have insurance? If you do, there will be a number on the back of your card that you can call and they will give you a list of providers in your area that are covered, or often times you can go online and get the same list. Now you can choose at random one of those from the list, or you can do a little research online or calling each providers office to get more information. 

If you don't have insurance, or if mental health is not a benefit covered by your insurance, you need to look at your budget and see what you can afford to pay each month to get help. If you can pay out of pocket, then just do some research by asking friends, going online, or calling around. If  you can't afford to pay very much, there are programs that can help you pay, or in most communities there are centers that will have counselors who volunteer so you don't have to pay as much. Also look into any groups you are with to see if they can help. Schools have counseling services and some workplaces will have them too. Church groups will often help with expenses, or help to just point you in the right direction. Don't give up immediately if you don't have the money. There are many services that are willing to help.

If you start going to counseling you have to keep a few things in mind: The first time you meet with this person it is more than likely going to be awkward and just feel weird. Well, what did you expect? You are meeting with a stranger and talking about the intimate details of your life! In my experience, it takes 2-4 sessions to feel comfortable. Also, the first person (or first 4) that you meet with might not be the right fit for you. And that's OKAY. Don't give up yet. :)

Cute little buddy hiding in his tube. 

A good counselor will be a good listener (I feel like this one is a given, but I'm listing it just in case) and will help you come up with a plan to be feeling normal again. The counselor that I am seeing right now gives me homework when I leave. (This is one of the very few instances that homework isn't thee very worst thing in the world because it helps me feel good) But I have also seen counselors (that I really liked and really helped me) that are more subtle about my 'homework'. I once had a counselor where he would say something and it would hit me 4 days later how profound and perfect it was, and I would learn and grow from that. So there are many different styles of counseling, you just have to find the one that best fits you and your life. 

Sometimes seeing a counselor and having them help you come up with a plan to normalcy is enough for you and you just have to see them for a few months or a little bit longer and you can move on from there. :)

Sometimes you still feel poopy after counseling and it hasn't helped your general mood, even if it has helped you figure out some important things in your life. And that's OKAY. But now your counselor or doctor may recommend medications. If your religion is against these kind of medications, or if you have really done the research and you believe that they are wrong, then of course no one is holding a gun to your head making you take them. But, if your neighbor down the road said that he thinks they are un-American and that's why you are refusing, I would recommend doing a little more research on the subject. Millions of people take medications every year that really do benefit them.

I love lions more than anything.

If you do choose to follow the recommendations of your counselor or doctor and take medications, talk to your doctor about how long he/she plans on you taking them. With some medications they will have you take them for a short time and then you will go off of them. With some medications you will need to take them longer, even taking some for the rest of your life. And that's OKAY. There may also be side-effects when you first start taking it. Often times these will go away within a few days to a few weeks. And you may need to take more or less during different parts of the year. More people are on antidepressants during the winter than they are during the summer, and more people take them in Seattle than Phoenix. 

Medications aren't the only other thing that can help besides therapy either. Talk to your doctor or counselor (and when I say counselor that includes ALL mental health professionals) about your other options. 

Meow meow meow

Your story may not even happen in this order. I know a lot of people who have gone to their doctor for symptoms like, being tired all of the time, loss of interest, and weight loss and the doctor prescribes them an antidepressant and then they go to therapy. It doesn't really matter how it happens, as long as  you get the help you need.

Tips if you are a friend of somebody that you think needs help, or is going through this process: 

Don't be judgmental - nobody likes that person. Just be supportive and show your love for them. Don't say things like, "Well just stop feeling that way," or "Other people have it worse." Obviously they would stop feeling that way if they could. And they are fully aware of how people have things worse than them, it doesn't make what they are going through any less worse - it just makes them feel more guilty. Once again, just be supportive and show your love for them. 

I really hope that this post will help some of you. I really do love you all and hope you are having a great day. Comment to show your love for people trying to be brave enough to get help.

Keeping up with the Jones'

When I was younger, I HATED my older and younger brothers and I fought quite a bit with my twin. Older people would always say things like, "When you get older you will all be friends." and I would laugh because I knew that they were so wrong. While I did know that I would always be best friends with my twin (we don't even really have a choice), there was no way that I would ever be friends with my stinky, mean, disgusting brothers.

Now we are all grown up and live all over the world. Spread out all over the continents - never have we been further apart. We have every excuse in the book to never communicate with each other and just live distant lives. But - we are actually all best friends. (I already got the "I told you so!" years ago so don't say it again now. haha) It's interesting to me how it happened. We didn't just all grow up and then decide that it was time to be friends. We each had to get to know each other again, and it happened slowly over time. Because we are all so spread out, Facebook and other things like it have been really beneficial to us. In fact, it's really what brought us all back together. It's even how I have gotten to know my in-laws better and I'm really glad about that because, once again, they both live really far away.

Last year we all got together at a beach house in North Carolina and it was the best vacation I have ever had. It wasn't the most luxurious or adventurous, but it's my happy place that I go to in my mind. I would say that it's because I'm surrounded by the people I love, but I have been on vacations that fit that criteria and it wasn't the same. I don't even know how to explain it... it was magical. (I realize how puke-y that comment is and I'm still not changing it.)

We are doing it again this June and although not all of us can make it this time, I'm still really really really excited.  It's one of my biggest lilly-pads. (click here to see what I'm talking about) And I'm even bringing my boyfriend this time! Should we take bets on how long it takes until one of my brothers kills him? hahaha Just kidding Ryan! (kind of) haha

While my brothers are still kind of snot-nosed-meanies, I now see the humor in it. And weirdly enough, the same brother that set the couch on fire that my twin sister and I were laying on when we were babies, is the one that everybody says I am the most like. And my little brother who had been estranged from everyone for years, is now just as close with everybody as I am.

While we still fight (especially me and my twin), at the end of the day we will ALWAYS have each other's backs. We would each fight and kill for each other and are there to listen to each others problems. We are definitely not a perfect family, but I wouldn't trade these idiots for anything.

Go ahead and comment and share your favorite memory with either your family or friends. OR Just tell me one of your favorite vacations!

Labels

Sometimes it's really easy to get caught up in the fact that you have depression or anxiety. It's easy to let the disease become you.
Well I am here to proudly say, that I am not depression. I am not anxiety. I am so much more.
Just by making this blog I have placed a giant label on myself that says DEPRESSED. But guess what? That's not me. That's just a sickness I have. That's just my brain pumping out the wrong chemicals. Want to know who I really am?

I am Samara. I am kind, hard-working, loyal, smart, and loving. I enjoy painting and reading and anything outdoors. I love to go on adventures. I write poetry sometimes. And sometimes it's even good when other people help me. I think that I'm funny. (I'm that terrible person that laughs at all of my own jokes.)

And you are so much more than your faults and weaknesses. You are a wonderful person!

Write down who you REALLY are and leave it in a comment. Help me help other people by helping yourself. (Did that even make any sense?? Probably not. Oh well. Just comment.)

This is also who I am:

A Fourth of July Lover

A twin

A Ukrainian

A Gypsy

An Awesome Sibling

An Artist (kind of)

A Best Friend

A Fun-Lover

(I also have obviously had about a million hair styles in the past. Just don't worry about it.)

Fam

My dear family and friends,
If my making this blog has offended anyone, let me apologize. It was a very  big decision for me to make this blog and to publicize it, but I feel that it was a good decision. The biggest reason I made this blog is to help other people. If I can help just one person with this blog, it was all worth it.
If you found out about my depression and anxiety through this blog and you feel I should have told you in person first, I truly apologize. I didn't mean it personally. You must understand that this is a very hard thing to talk about.
If you suffer from depression and anxiety and you feel uncomfortable with me being so forward, that's okay. It's a big step for me to take and I understand if you don't get why I am doing it.
If you are concerned that I am making this blog too soon or am being too honest with people about what I'm going through, that's okay. It's a very scary thing. Once again though, I feel like this was the right decision.

I just want to HELP people. It's possible that this was the wrong way to do it, but that's something I have to find out for myself. The positive feedback that I have gotten from people has already helped me. My readers are great!

My next challenge, I'm going write a poem to my family and friends that have helped me out through everything. I challenge you to do the same and share it with me!
Peace and Love.